“The idea of having children terrifies me. Truly, on a deep level.”
A 31-year-old married woman has opened her heart in a letter to Mamamia. She says that deep down, she’s uncertain if she should be trying to get pregnant or not.
Read the full article with my suggestions on how to determine whether or not to have children as well as some of the underlying reasons that might be holding you back.
Image Credit: Mamamia
Sydney Soul-Centred Psychotherapist + Eating Psychology Specialist, Jodie Gale, is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being. Over the last 20 years, Jodie has helped 100s of women to transform their lives. She has a private supervision, counselling, life-coaching and psychotherapy practice in Manly, Allambie Heights and Frenchs Forest on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Jodie is passionate about putting the soul back into therapy!
Founded by Marc David, Dynamic Eating Psychology™, combines the psychology of eating with the science of mind body nutrition™; it is the latest and most up-to-date approach there is for healing from “weight concerns, emotional eating, binge eating, overeating, body image challenges, endless dieting and a variety of nutrition related health concerns such as digestion, fatigue, mood, immunity and more (Marc David)”
Using an empowering, positive and transformational approach, Dynamic Eating Psychology™ works using techniques and tools from counselling and coaching models, body centered practices, soul-centred and spiritual psychology, archetypal psychologies, positive psychology, cognitive approaches, Health at Every Size (HAES) and more. Dynamic Eating Psychology™ is also firmly grounded in the best of clinical and scientific nutrition, complementary and alternative medicine and mind-body sciences.
Rather than viewing the person as being a problem or having a problem to get rid of, Dynamic Eating Psychology™ views food and body concerns as symptoms that are in much need of depth exploration. Holding a soulful and holistic context, by exploring the complexity of these symptoms, we can learn, grow and transform our relationships with self, others, work, money, pleasure, sexuality, lifestyle, nutrition, search for meaning and fulfillment and so on.
“For far too long, we’ve been inundated by negative messages about food, body, weight and diet. We’ve been told that we’re willpower weaklings or that we need more control. The majority of nutrition experts promote vastly different and conflicting advice. The result is that people are confused about what to eat and how to have a happy relationship with food and a healthy metabolism. Eating Psychology Coaches help you rise above nutritional confusion. They’re trained to help you get un-stuck. By eliminating all the “shoulds and shouldn’ts”, their approach focuses on what’s right for your body and your personal style. As you work with an Eating Psychology Coach in this way, food and health issues become a place of exploration. Instead of seeing eating challenges as the enemy, they become opportunities for growth and self-improvement. From here, you’re better able to reach your highest goals (Marc David).”
In Psychology and Nutrition: The Perfect Union, Marc David writes,
“Mind Body Nutrition™ is an exciting new approach that looks at the psycho-physiology of how digestion, assimilation, calorie burning and all the nutritive functions of the body are literally and scientifically impacted by stress, relaxation, thought, emotion, pleasure, our personal story, eating rhythm, eating speed and awareness…. WHAT we eat is half the story of good nutrition. The other half of the story is WHO we are as eaters. Mind Body Nutrition™ provides this all-important missing link to metabolic health.”
Dynamic Eating Psychology™ and Mind Body Nutrition™ are for anyone who struggles with food, body, health and well-being concerns including:
Body hate, weight prejudice, restriction of pleasure and tyrannizing ourselves into a certain way of being are old and outdated ways of thinking! Dynamic Eating Psychology™ and Mind Body Nutrition™ can benefit you by:
You will also take away:
Reference: The Institute of the Psychology of Eating: Our Approach
Sydney Psychotherapist, Therapeutic Counsellor, Eating Psychology and Soul-Centred Life-Coach, Jodie Gale, is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being. Over the last 15 years, Jodie has helped 100s of women to transform their lives. She has a private counselling, life-coaching and psychotherapy practice in Manly and Allambie Heights on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Jodie is passionate about putting the soul back into therapy!
I was recently interviewed by the Chief Sub-Editor of CLEO & DOLLY, Ellie McDonald, for her article Family Feud in the March issue of CLEO Australia (on sale now). Here you can find an edited and updated version of our discussion:
About the importance of a strong mother-daughter relationship and why the daughter needs this as she reaches adulthood…
To achieve and maintain healthy relationships with self and others, we need to have internalised an accepting, unconditionally loving, nurturing and nourishing mother so that we can relate from, and care for ourselves in this way. If we haven’t for whatever reason internalised a nurturing mother, we can get caught in a cycle of searching outside ourselves for others to meet our needs and to affirm our worth in the world.
For most, our relationship with mother is often our first and primary attachment relationship – it is the barometer for all of our future relationships with self, family, friends, colleagues, partners and our children. We are born into her world and this helps shape:
If mother has awareness and has worked at resolving her own identity issues, it is far easier for her to foster the daughter’s separation, autonomy and sense of self. A strong sense of self-identity is essential as we move into young adulthood.
About the negative effects of a strained mother-daughter relationship for a young woman in her twenties…
We know that strains in the relationship with mother throughout childhood and beyond are major contributing factors to our physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual health and wellbeing. Symptoms may include addiction, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, poor relationships, a lack of self-worth as well as numerous other concerns (Reference: Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes the Baby’s Brain)
Some of the negative effects that we may experience are:
As a psychotherapist for the last 15 years and a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being, I have witnessed the journey of many young women who enter therapy because of symptoms such as eating disorders or relationship problems. Of course we work on symptom relief but a huge chunk of the therapy is actually spent separating psychologically from mother (and father as well as other internalized imagoes). This can be long-term and painful work as the daughter begins to wonder, ‘who am I, if I am not my mother?’, ‘who am I if I am not who my mother told me I am?’
It is grief work because it means letting go of the false identities we have been living out of as well as coming to the realisation that we cannot change mother into the mother we long for. It means accepting mother as she is. It means growing up and (re) mothering ourselves in a loving and nurturing way. In Jungian psychology, it means getting in touch with – and owning – our feminine aspects of the soul/psyche.
About how common the breakdown of a mother-daughter relationship is…
Many women have an extremely complex relationship with mother. It is not uncommon however, for the relationship to breakdown, heal and transform overtime.
About some of the reasons why this may have happened…
The most problematic mother-daughter relationships are for those who grow up with a mother who suffers with narcissistic wounding and who therefore parents with narcissistic tendencies.
If the mother has herself not been seen or heard and her own dependency, safety, love, worth, self-actualisation/realisation needs have not been met, she might:
In the few examples given above, it is more about the mother’s needs than the daughter’s – this can be highly toxic to the daughter’s sense of self. Child psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott writes,
“The mother gazes at the baby in her arms, and the baby gazes at her mother’s face and finds herself therein…provided that the mother is really looking at the unique, small, helpless being and not projecting her own expectations, fears, and plans for the child. In that case, the child would find not herself in her mother’s face, but rather the mother’s own projections. This child would remain without a mirror, and for the rest of her life would be seeking this mirror in vain.”
We all long for our mother to meet us emotionally, but the mother who suffers with narcissism is incapable of doing so. We learn at an early age, adaptive and creative ways of getting our needs met; though pleasing, rebelling, academic achievements, becoming the sick child and so on. These patterns of being and behaviour often follow through into adulthood.
About how to heal from a difficult mother-daughter relationship…
The Mother/Daughter Relationship:
For Daughter (and therefore Mother!):
NB: it is important that we don’t get caught in blaming or demonizing mothers; there are just as many complexities within father/daughter relationships. Notice that I don’t use the term ‘narcissistic mother’ – the reason for this is because at the core, mother is a human being, whole and unbroken – she herself has more than likely suffered with narcissistic wounding. The ‘narcissistic mother’ is only part of who she is. In saying all this, as mothers, we do need to recognise the profound impact that our wounding and parenting style have on our daughter’s sense of self and her ongoing relational, emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual health and well-being.
Sydney Soul-Centred Psychotherapist + Eating Psychology Coach, Jodie Gale, is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being. She spent time in the South of France training in mother-daughter relationships from an Indigenous, Jungian and Psycho-Spiritual perspective. Over the last 15 years, Jodie has helped 100s of women to transform their lives. She has a private counselling, life-coaching and psychotherapy practice in Manly and Allambie Heights on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Jodie is passionate about putting the soul back into therapy!
“A genuine odyssey is not about piling up experiences. It is a deeply felt, risky, unpredictable tour of the soul.” Thomas Moore
-You will be guided through a creative visualisation which could focus on one of the following:
-Some of the topics you might wish to explore but are not limited to are:
-We will explore experientially how your life energy gets stuck in unhealthy patterns and what it is that sabotages or gets in your way of achieving your health and well-being, dreams and goals
-An experience of reflective meditation, a tool that you can continue to use at home
-Getting in touch with your intentions, new ideas, opportunities, hopes, dreams and passions
-Expressing your creativity through the use of art therapy – don’t worry, you don’t have to be Picasso!
-Fostering your authentic self and SOUL qualities such as self-acceptance, self-care, self-compassion and self-love
These sessions are for you if you are looking to connect with yourself at a deeper level and wanting to become more present to your SOUL’s journey.
It is also for you if you have spent the last year (or longer!)…
After your 2 hour SOUL session you will take home awareness and tools to help you with:
“Amazing, I’m so glad I came”
“It has brought me closer to my true self”
“Not at all what I was expecting but wow”
“I am leaving with a sense of purpose”
“I realise how little compassion I have for myself, working on this is my first step”
“It was great to gain a wider perspective of my life’s journey”
“I wanted to get in touch with my Higher Self and I have – thank you!”
“I feel like I am leaving with some practical steps to change my current situation”
“So powerful, I wasn’t expecting this”
“Instead of compulsive eating, I am taking away that I need to bring more joy and pleasure into my life”
“I am leaving with some great resources and pointers for moving in a healthier direction”
“I have never seen myself in this way before”
“I wanted to get in touch with my Higher Self and I did!”
“I really loved the visualisation – it brought a whole new perspective to issues I have felt really stuck with”
“I am so happy to have had an experience of psychosynthesis. I did my foundation year nearly 20 years ago and I have missed this depth of experience”
If the date you require is taken, please email me as I now have space on Friday during school hours.
Saturday 14 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 21 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 28 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 4 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 11 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 18 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 25 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 4 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 25 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 1 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 8- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 15- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 22- 1.30-3.30
Saturday 29- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 5- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 12- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 19- 1.30-3.30
Saturday 26- 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 2 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 9 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 16 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 23 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 7 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 14 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 21 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 28 – 1.30-3.30 Booked Out
Saturday 4 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 11 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 18 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 25 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 2 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 13 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 20 – 1.30-3.30
Saturday 27 – 1.30-3.30
Allambie Heights in person or via Skype (please note Skype are only 1-1 not for small groups)
Public transport is available via the 280 bus from Chatswood to Warringah Mall or the 142 from Manly to the Skyline shops.
Art materials and a journal to take home (not available for Skype)
I will email you a questionnaire and provide you with a short reading prior to your session
1 x 2 hour SOUL session = $299.00
1 x 2 hour SOUL session and 2 follow up 50 minute sessions = $579.00 (follow-up sessions can be taken separately or as an intensive over one day or a weekend)
1 x 2 hour SOUL session and 5 follow up 50 minute sessions = $949.00 (follow-up sessions can be taken separately or as an intensive over one day or a weekend)
For groups of up to 3 friends
1 x 2 hour SOUL session for a group of up to 3 friends and 2 follow up individual 50 minute sessions = $480.00 pp (follow-up sessions can be taken separately or as an intensive over one day or a weekend)
1 x 2 hour SOUL session for a group of up to 3 friends and 5 follow up individual 50 minute sessions = $850.00 pp (follow-up sessions can be taken separately or as an intensive over one day or a weekend)
*Because these sessions are in high demand, payment is required on booking to hold your space. Credit card payments now available. *
Sydney Soul-Centred Psychotherapist, Eating Psychology Specialist + Transformational Life-Coach, Jodie Gale, is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being.
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Sydney Soul-Centred Psychotherapist, Counsellor, Eating Psychology Specialist and Transformational Life-Coach Jodie Gale, is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being.