Finding the Deep River Within: Recovering Balance and Meaning in Everyday Life
In the day-to-day chaos of modern life, finding a sense of inner calm, connection and depth can often feel unattainable. Yet, within each of us lies a “deep river within,” a place of stillness that Abby Seixas explores in her book, Finding the Deep River Within: A Woman’s Guide to Recovering Balance and Meaning in Everyday Life. Seixas’ book (and workshops) serves as a guide to navigating the flow of our inner lives, offering tools and insights to help us reconnect with the depth of our true selves. In 2017, I had the privilege of training with Abby, a fellow psychosynthesis psychotherapist, to become a Deep River Within Facilitator.
The Concept of the Deep River Within
The metaphor of the deep river within represents the self; a place of inner calm and wisdom that exists beneath the surface of our daily lives. This inner reservoir is always available to us, however, accessing it requires intentionality and practice. The deep river within is a source of strength and clarity, a place where we can find refuge from the external pressures and distractions that often dominate our existence.
The Consequences of Alienation from the Deep River Within
When we are alienated from the deep river within, we can become caught in a cycle of constant busyness and stress, struggling to keep up with the demands of modern life. This relentless pace can lead to chronic stress, poor sleep, and a general sense of dissatisfaction.
For some, this disconnection may be rooted in early childhood trauma, which can leave lasting scars on our ability to connect with our true selves. In an attempt to fill the void created by this sense of alienation, we may turn to addictive behaviors, such as substance abuse, disordered eating, or other compulsive activities. These coping mechanisms often provide temporary relief but ultimately deepen our sense of disconnection and unhappiness.
The Six Practices for Finding the Deep River Within
There are six practices that can help us tap into and connect with the deep river within:
- Taking Time-In: This practice involves creating moments of stillness and reflection amidst the busyness of life. It’s about making space for quiet contemplation and allowing ourselves to simply ‘be with’ whatever arises within us.
- Making Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is essential for protecting our time and energy. This means learning to say no to demands that drain us and yes to activities that nourish our inner selves.
- Befriending Feelings: Embracing our emotions, even the difficult ones, allows us to understand and process them. Befriending our feelings helps us stay connected to our inner truth and fosters emotional resilience.
- Taming Self-Expectations: Reducing unrealistic self-expectations and practicing self-compassion can alleviate stress and promote well-being. This practice encourages us to be gentler with ourselves.
- Practicing Presence: Being fully present in the moment allows us to experience life more deeply and authentically. The practice of presence helps us to connect with ourselves, our surroundings and with others in a meaningful way.
- Doing Something You Love: Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can rejuvenate our spirits and help us stay connected to the deep river within. Doing what we love nourishes and nurtures our soul-self and fosters a sense of value, meaning and purpose in life.
The Importance of Slowing Down
A central theme in this work is the importance of slowing down. In a society that often values speed and productivity over well-being, taking the time to slow down can be a radical and transformative act. Slowing down allows us to tune into our inner world, to notice the beauty around us, and to live more intentionally.
Connect With Your Deep River Within
Psychotherapy can be a powerful tool in helping you turn inwards and access the deep river within. Through therapy, you are provided with a dedicated time and space each week for self-reflection and stillness. Psychotherapists assist you in recognising and establishing healthy boundaries, exploring and expressing your emotions, and identifying and challenging unrealistic self-expectations. Integrating mindfulness and presence into therapeutic practices helps you stay grounded in the present moment. Additionally, therapy supports you in identifying and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, fostering a deeper connection to your true self and enhancing your overall sense of wellbeing. Through this process, therapy helps you know yourself better, promoting a greater understanding of your inner life and facilitating a deeper connection to your own deep river within. The process of psychotherapy and the skills you learn, will last you a lifetime.
